My father never said much. Not the type for long conversations or emotional speeches. Never sat me down and said i love you the way you see in films. And when i was younger i measured that absence like it meant something was missing.
Took me an embarrassingly long time to realise i was reading the wrong language.
Because that man woke up before everyone every single morning. Fixed things quietly before anyone noticed they were broken. Drove hours without complaining for things that mattered to us. Showed up consistently, without announcement, without needing credit for any of it.
That was the language. I just did not know how to read it yet.
We are living in a time that rewards the people who can express themselves loudly and beautifully. Who post about their feelings, say the right things, articulate emotion in ways that get attention. And there is genuine value in that. Communication matters and i am not dismissing it.
But we have started to undervalue the quiet ones. The people who show love through presence rather than performance. Who carry weight without talking about how heavy it is. Who keep showing up long after the people who made bigger declarations have disappeared.
Some of the most loyal people i have ever had in my life have never once made a speech about it. They just kept appearing. Kept being there. Kept doing the small consistent things that add up over time into something solid.
Meanwhile some of the most expressive people i have known said every beautiful thing perfectly and delivered almost none of it when it actually counted.
Words are genuinely easy. Saying the right thing in the moment costs very little. But showing up repeatedly over time, especially when it is inconvenient, especially when there is nothing to gain from it, that is where you find out what someone actually means.
Learn to pay attention to patterns not just words. Watch what people do when nobody is watching. Notice who is still there after the excitement fades.
The most honest things people ever communicate to you are often the things they never actually say out loud.
Read the silence. It tells you everything.
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