Hi Hive,
There is a version of me that existed before things fell apart. That version believed in people a little too much. I believed that loyalty was always returned, that presence meant permanence, and that if you showed up for others, they would surely show up for you too. But it's not true.
Then life happened.
Not the soft kind and not the kind that gives warnings. I’m talking about the kind that strips everything away at once, starting frm support, comfort and certainty. The kind that leaves you staring at your phone, realizing that the people you thought would stay by your side are suddenly quiet. No calls. No messages. But just you and the weight of everything.
Going through your worst time alone is a another kind of pain. It’s not just what you’re dealing with but it’s the absence of who you thought would help you carry it at that moment. At first, it sure hurts deeply. You question everything. Were you not enough? Did you expect too much? Did you misread people? And so on...
But something shifts.
Gradually, you stop chasing explanations. You stop expecting people to show up the way you would. You begin to realised a hard truth because not everyone is built to stay, especially when things are not going well.
And then, something even more powerful happens that you adapt.
You learn how to sit with your own thoughts. You learn how to solve your own problems. You learn how to wake up, even when you don’t feel like it, and keep going anyway. And you become your own support system.
And that kind of growth changes you.
Because once you have survived your lowest point alone, then your perspective also shifts completely. Because at that point, you’re no longer afraid of losing people the way you used to be. Not because you don’t value them but because you now know you can survive without them.
It’s not bitterness. But it is clarity.
You begin to value presence differently. You appreciate the ones who stay by your side, but you don't longer depend on them. You stop begging for attention, for love, for consistency. If it’s there, good. But you keep moving if it's not.
And that’s the truth many people don’t really talk about.
Once you have went through your worst moment alone, you don’t cling anymore. You don’t force connections either. And you don’t lose yourself trying to keep people in your life anymore.
Then you simply become someone who knows their own strength and that actually changes everything.
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4 comments
it hurts a lot to realize that not everyone you thought was loyal is there during the bad times, but as you say that gives you incredible clarity to value those who do stay
Yes, it does gives me incredible clarity to value those that stay but it also teach me to be self-reliant too.
Exactly That balance between valuing loyalty and building self-reliance is what makes you truly strong
Thanks so much