LOH284 || Lights and shadows of being a mother-in-law...

I take my place with dignity...

Being a mother-in-law is not a topic that one chooses, there is also no manual for being a mother-in-law.

I am a mother-in-law, I have been a mother-in-law to my divorced children, and I will become a mother-in-law again when they bond with their new partners, anyway, life is not black and white, no one here is a saint by title, or a villain by label. I always give myself the opportunity to build my own path, without labels and without prejudices.

My husband and I had helpful, charming mothers-in-law who loved us and showed it with deeds, words and actions.

The new generations of children and their spouses are self-sufficient and find it difficult to commit to being related to the parents (in-laws) of their partners.

My children had long courtships and my daughters-in-law and son-in-law were very close (they are still in the family chat). One of my sons-in-law despite having a cultural and language barrier with us always says that he loves me and gives me songs....

The only thing I have done is to approach and love them as if they were my children... to those who have left I still thank them for having supported and loved my children in the time they shared. So I don't feel guilty, because in my house, in my home they always saw stability.

From personal experience as a mother-in-law, I try as much as possible to be peace before conflict, I respect the autonomy of the couple, I establish clear limits, to avoid interference and to love my children's partner, as one more of the family, fostering a relationship from understanding and not from possession, without interfering in the life of the family because I take my place as a mother-in-law, without guilt.

It's a fine line to walk on.

Although I have never lived with my children and their spouses. There is nothing that generates more peace and less chaos, having the rules clear and that requires patience and understanding, while we adapt to the new family dynamic. It is the difference between a mother-in-law living with a family assembled in peace or in chaos.

It's never too late to draw a smile, color a life, cut fears and add dreams to the heart and accompany without criticizing or correcting the lives of my children and their spouses... I speak only from my experience, I am not a possessive mother-in-law, nor jealous thank God, I am happy with my children's spouses. Peace begins when we stop competing with our children's spouses and start observing. They say around that to the mother-in-law, like the sun the farther the better 😅.

Everyone has free will and their own personal touch. Between shadows and lights is a title that is imposed on you, if you intervene it is wrong and if not it is also wrong.

Big hug for everyone. Nice day.

Janitze.🐝