Idealizing the other is your problem ...

in Reflections2 days ago




When you put someone on a pedestal, not only do you hurt yourself, because the other person will never be able to hold him, but you put him in a trap that he didn't ask for.And one more thing... don't let yourself be deified either, don't fall in love the way the other sees you, because falling to the ground of reality can be harder than you think ...

When we buy something we sometimes think that our life will change. When we have that phone, those shoes or that object (it can be anyone), and although we get excited when we have it, a phenomenon happens that changes everything... It is called hedonic adaptation, that is, we adapt to pleasure and it loses effectiveness.

Let me tell you more, it happens that our brain adapts to practically anything, including pleasure. In such a way that what you enjoyed intensely then becomes normal, however, sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that to feel like this again the solution is to buy something else again. If you take this path you will see how you buy that new thing and even if you enjoy it the satisfaction lasts less.

That objects give you less and less emotion every time is normal. And it is not an idealistic or naive criticism that invites you not to buy what you want or need.

But rather, an invitation for you to realize that your happiness is not there. Above all, because sometimes looking for that supposed happiness in external things we end up making huge sacrifices or making decisions that generate more tension for us.

Enjoy what you have and can get, but remember that even the most pleasant things can get boring.

Besides, with self-esteem, you send whoever comes to fuck you to hell, and you don't go around hurting others with false promises of a love that you don't feel. If you are looking for the perfect person, you will not find her. Because people have nuances, we live in the gray area. We have lights and shadows.

Social networks have made us believe that there are perfect lives and people. We compare ourselves with unreal models and we want to be, but to be human is to live with contradiction, with different motivations and conflicts.

A few years ago I learned that everything negative that happens to you can imply a highly positive lesson. But it's not easy to see everything like that.

Let's stop judging the other from the place of perfection or moral superiority. Stop being your worst critic and become your best ally. If you constantly judge yourself harshly, it's time to change your internal dialogue. I think the price of the life you want is to leave the life you have... May this end of the year the gift be yourself, giving you a new opportunity to start! I bless the path of each of you, and I sincerely wish that in 2026, you continue to reap successes and learning.

Janitze.🌷



Separator made with Canva by @janitzearratia


Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited by me with Canva


Translation with |DeepL