It is very difficult to recover the vínculo. If your partner does not appreciate you and if they also barely finish, they are looking for a nail to take out another nail.
Only with the years will that person realize the great person he lost and when he asks for forgiveness, the return is no longer possible. It's sad, but I've seen it and I've witnessed it in my family environment, which happens frequently.
Couples always surprise and give each other successful second chances. My beloved dad told me, when I was newly married: “When a man really falls in love with a woman and wants to be with her, he changes for the good of both, leaves friendships that lead to nothing good, leaves bad attitudes and behaves better every day to make her happy.”
There are no tricks or recipes in love. It is useless to follow advice to like someone, we are not as generic as we would like to think and on the other hand, if someone liked you for playing hard, interesting or mysterious, does he really like you for you or for the "trick"? And if someone liked you, that will happen even despite looking for in others what we do not give ourselves, look, no, the thing is not like that.
Love will always be a challenge. There is no love without effort, without negotiation, without agreements. When we are in a couple and problems begin, it is often due to a lack of clarity and mutual understanding because there is vital space in a relationship before making drastic decisions, especially if we feel that there is still love, a common project and things to rescue side by side.
We all have tastes, interests and passions that need to exist or be able to live when we are in a relationship. Thinking that the only thing the other needs is the partner is a mistake that withers the relationship.
If the other person can't have their spaces, friends, activities or things that interest them sooner or later they have nothing to contribute to the relationship and that person you met and liked is no longer there.
Just as plants need to be nourished by a fertile soil, a relationship needs that everyone can live and be able to have space to do what they like, sometimes as a couple and sometimes on their own.
Couples are very unpredictable, it can happen that you get separated, that you hate each other, but... it is that of the saying that the opposite of love is indifference, not hatred.
Other times they fight, they are in a serious crisis, sometimes they go to therapy and fall in love again, but in a way that they are literally ONE, retaining their individuality. Those who have lived this experience say that it is toxic to return several times, because they do not know the irrational nature of love
Janitze 🌹
Separator made with Canva by @janitzearratia
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited by me with Canva
Translation with |DeepL