People always say that dealing with pain helps you become a person. What does it really mean when you are actually going through the pain? It is easy for people to say pain builds character when they are not feeling it themselves. How does it do that when you are in the middle of it feeling really bad and just wanting it to stop?
I knew someone who lost his business two times. The time this person lost their business he just sat in his room for a lot of weeks. He did not answer any phone calls. The business owners wife had to take care of everything. When the business owner finally came out of hid room he was not stronger in any way that you could see. He was quieter maybe. The business owner started a business selling spare parts. The business owner still sells parts.
The scars thing sounds good until you remember that some scars do not heal right. My uncle has a limp from an accident in the 80s. It never went away. The scars thing is not always about being strong. My uncle adapted to his scars. I don't think that is the same as being strong. The scars just changed his life and he had to deal with the scars.
People get through times because they have no other choice not because bad things are supposed to teach them something. You do not get any rewards for being in pain. Sometimes people just get really tired of everything.
I don't know if the depth that people have comes from the struggles that they have been through or if we just tell ourselves that to make sense of the depth that people have. Maybe the depth that people have comes from both the struggles that they have been through and the fact that we tell ourselves that it does. There is this carpenter in my area who never finished school. He got into some trouble when he was young. Now the carpenter builds furniture that people actually want to buy. The carpenter does not talk about his past much. When the carpenter does talk about his past it is not inspiring to hear at all. The carpenter just states the facts about his past.
I believe that bad experiences force people to make decisions about what they want to do. Some people make decisions, other people do not make decisions. When people make decisions we say that they learned and grew from their bad experiences. When people do not make decisions we usually forget about them or we say that they gave up on their lives.
Character can come from being in a lot of pain. It can come from just being lucky. Having people around the character or being very stubborn can also make a big difference. I have seen some people who're weak and they stay weak no matter what happens to them. Strength isn't guaranteed just because you suffered.