Friendship is one of the most beautiful bonds we share as humans. It goes beyond just spending time together; it is about trust, support, and understanding. But as we grow older, friendships are often tested by differences. Differences in beliefs, values, or even life choices. Some say true friendship means accepting your friend just the way they are, while others believe certain differences can create gaps too wide to bridge. This raises an important question: how far should we go in maintaining friendships, and when do differences become a reason to step back?
Now, I am not saying you should accept someone who toys with you and affects your mental health just because they have been your friends for a long time. As a person, you need to know when friendship is becoming toxic and when to cut someone off.
I was having a discussion on the Hivelearners Monday hangout, and we were talking about when friendship has become toxic. A friendship where you don't have peace of mind because of different beliefs or opinions, I think, should be suspended. You can ghost the person and move on, but one important question you should ask yourself is
Is this person more important than the opinion or belief? Am I being selfish with my opinion?
I have friends with different opinions and beliefs, but that doesn't mean I should unfriend them. This set of people is more important than those beliefs, and the fact that they are not forcing their beliefs on me shows how much they cherish our friendship.
My best friend is of a different religion from me, I am a Christian, and he follows me to any social gathering, even the one hosted by the church, and I do likewise to him when we invite each other.
For my best friend, there are times our personal beliefs clash with each other, not like they clash and we have a fight, but that I don't agree with what he is saying, but he is always ready to listen to my explanation, and I always listen to him when he wants to talk. This is just respect, the respect we have for each other, and that has helped us maintain our friendship.
Every other day, we are talking about business, money, girls, and things a normal guy will talk about when they are with their best friend.
At the end of the day, I believe friendship is about balance, knowing when to let go and when to hold on. If the foundation of the relationship is respect and genuine care, then differences in beliefs or opinions should not be enough reason to end it. Instead, they should be an opportunity to learn, to understand, and to see life from another perspective.
But if a friendship constantly drains you, leaves you feeling small, or makes you question your worth, then it’s not worth holding onto. Friendship is meant to add value, not take away from who you are.
So to what extent can we maintain friendships? As far as respect, peace, and love allow. Beyond that, it’s no longer friendship; it’s just endurance. And life is too short to endure where you are meant to enjoy. Live life, and live hard.
Thanks for reading. My name is Fashtioluwa. All images used are mine.
