Been there brother, been there many times.

I don't have a magic wand to wave around and make things better, there's no unicorn miracles on the horizon, no white knight to come along and save the day...there's just you; your thoughts, attitudes and actions.

Brutal as fuck, no doubt.

But...then there's this you said.

I won't give up.

So there's a way forward, though it may be hard, seem an insurmountable obstacle and along the way you may be filled with doubt, despair, anger...all of that and more. But, "I won't give up," sounds like you're giving quitting the big fuck you and that's what it takes, over and over again.

You're on the right track there, and with the small successes which will give you momentum or even just some padding when shit falls into a heap. It's one of those successes that maybe causes you to get the fuck up again, dust off and take another step into the fray. It was thus for me and slowly, really fucken slowly at first, things started to change.

I don't know if this will happen for you although I'm totally, one hundred percent sure the opposite will happen unless you stick to that never-quit attitude.

There's a lot of moving parts and even the best plan never survives intact when contact with the enemy occurs, things go wrong as they will for you too, but keep pushing until you die...and when you die, get the fuck up, brush off and keep going.

You can also reach out on Discord if your mental health could use a cuddle and the demons a fucken throat punch or two...I'm happy to provide both.