You are not alone with desires not fit to be mentioned; when I was around 12 years old, I was infatuated with a girl and a weird thought of how just two of us could be inhabitants on earth. What followed the thought is better kept secret; crazy world and crazy ideas
Ho ho! When I was a similar age I also had a deep crush on a girl who lived just up the hill from me. I fantasized about her having a bicycle accident just outside my house so I could play the white knight and rescue her! 🥴 I told one of my school friends that I fancied her - and to my horror he told the rest of my friends, and then went and told her as well! 😱 What foolish creatures some 12 year old (and older) boys are!
!ALIVE
!BBH