A few days ago I was talking with my husband about some agreements and limits (the famous, non-negotiable ones) that sustain our relationship and that it was necessary to renew, change some, because some are no longer compatible with us and current lifestyle. In the middle of the discussion he took me with his hands, my right hand and said to me: "My love we have been married for 47 years, I wanted to kill him when he spoke to me like this, with a tax tone to give me advice, almost warnings, which I did not like: my husband does not want that for any reason in the world, in any discussion we have, with any emotional intensity of the moment, for any excuse, pretext or justification of anything that I talk to him about changes to update, the non-negotiables and the limits that each of us have in this couple bond.
After that discussion I have given my husband a piece of advice, maybe, an ultimatum written with lines, and crooked scripts, regarding that I always want clarity in communication📣 in addition to honesty. Because if we don't communicate explicitly and clearly, even after so many years, the bond we have, of a life together, can wear out.
My husband, behind the hardness of the masculine, is fragile. He is approaching the age of 70, I said to him: I can love you unbridgingly, but it's enough that you tell me or do something that I don't like and worse if it's repetitive, everything can collapse like a house of cards, look that you have been in the best place of my heart.
And to live in heartbreak, is to die slowly. When love becomes something different, then it is no longer love.
I also think and so I think that in love, romanticism is illusory, confusing and foggy because it takes more cool head, intelligence and practicality in relationships to walk a long time together.
Because in the end, we are two individuals who decide to grow and evolve together, and sometimes my husband does not access my advice because he has, about them, very abstract concepts in relation to overcoming goals, and the resolution of some moment or problem that is complex.
In the end I gave him an excellent advice remember that when we got married "we decided to respect and fulfill the promises and responsibilities", now if the thing is going out, or the fire is slow, then, between the two of us let's put more fuel on the fire, deciding every day for each other.
Janitze 🌹
Icons by: Icofinder
Separator made with [Canva] ( https://www.canva.com /) by @janitzearratia
The images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the eighties Rolleiflex 2.8f camera, and edited with [Canva] ( https://www.canva.com /)
Translation with / [DeepL] (www.DeepL.com/Translator (English version))