I believe one of the things that makes life interesting is the uncertainty of the date on which we will no longer exist. That uncertainty of not knowing how or when we will leave "forever" from the body we inhabit adds a mysterious and valuable touch to our existence.
If suddenly, for some cruel reason, I were to be certain that this is my "end," just as I imagine it right now, I don't think I would take it with drama. I don't know, maybe I have no idea how I would feel or how I would react. It's hard to make a real forecast because right now I am writing with the feeling that I still have many years ahead and that I am only assuming.
But, as I feel it now, I answered myself instinctively, and that's exactly what I will write—something mundane, simple, but delicious, truly delicious and pleasurable:
I would spend the entire day eating good chocolate, if I felt like it. I would eat all kinds of the most delicious chocolates without guilt—peanut, hazelnut, pistachio. I would spread Nutella on salted crackers... It would be my guilt-free chocolate pleasure day.
I would also go watch a sunset, perhaps by the sea or in a park. The important thing is that it would be near nature, preferably... I would stare at the sun directly without protection right at sunset. It’s magical—I did it frequently a few years ago, and I loved it. I felt the infinity of the universe inside me, and it’s also a visual spectacle that allows me to be in a peaceful stillness for a few minutes.
This practice felt like it recharged my energy, but I read that it can be dangerous for the eyesight, and that scared me, so I stopped doing it. It’s logical to think it can cause harm, but on the other hand, it’s so magical that it might actually be beneficial. Still, given my uncertainty, I stopped because I didn’t want to risk my eyes. Knowing it’s my last day, I would have nothing to lose in that regard.
I would write a letter to each of my three sisters, four brothers, two friends, one girlfriend, and two nephews (I have many, but I would only want to write to two of them). Short, concise letters—thanking them for something, asking for forgiveness for something, and recalling a funny memory involving us.
I would exchange the few hundred USDT I have and give it in cash to one of my brothers or sisters for funeral expenses; they would handle the rest. I would also apologize to them for that as well =)
The meaning of the quotation marks around some words indicates that I believe in the infinity of existence.
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