I am a woman with quite accentuated masculine energy, expressing myself about the aspects that make me feel feminine is a real challenge for me. Just a few days ago a lady looked at me from behind and thought I was a man.
I don't entirely blame her, she looked at me from the waist up, baggy shirt, cap on my head that didn't let my hair show. It was when she looked at me from the front and I spoke to her that she realized I was a woman. I thought it was funny.
I will be honest and I must confess that this kind of situation sometimes amuses me and even pleases me, I do not feel offended at all, although it is not my intention to look like a man or feel like one, in fact I do not know how it feels to be a man, I have never been one, nor do I want to be one, I like to be a woman and be the way I am, feel good and comfortable in my own style.
At least that lady, who when she saw me from behind mistook me for a man, could perceive the feminine tone of my voice and knew immediately that I was a woman, of course when she saw my face she confirmed her mistake.
Some people can distort their voice timbre to make it deeper or sharper, more masculine or more feminine, some men who want to sound like women often do it (I am not judging, just commenting), they soften their voice to give it femininity.
There are also girls who thicken their voice timbre to feel more masculine. When I was a teenager I met a girl with a very masculine appearance and one day she called me at home, my mom answered the call and then she told me -they called you, I don't know if it was a woman or a man, I have no idea-.
For some it may seem silly, but my voice and my way of expressing myself make me feel feminine energy that I do not try to distort, I like to feel that subtlety in my vocal cords and in the sound that I perceive and others perceive. A subtle word in a subtle voice is beautiful.
But the truth is, I like to feel strong and do for myself as many things as possible.
I remember as a child I was struggling to open a jam that was very hard, one of my brothers offered to help me but I did not accept and until I opened the container I was not calm, however, things in that sense have changed a lot, now I try not to do much physical strength but it is due to an injury in my cervical spine.
Now, returning to the subject of my feminine side, I think this is based more on certain attitudes or expressions. For example, I can be very tender and treat someone with extreme delicacy at certain times, my mother and my partner can attest to this, also my kitty if she were still with me.
I don't do things or express myself in certain ways or dress a certain way to feel more or less feminine, or more or less masculine, I just am the way I want to be and the way I feel comfortable, I don't like to follow stereotypes.
I like myself the way I am and being that way I've been liked by beautiful people, so I can't be that unattractive, I guess.
More than feeling confident as a woman, if I'm honest, I don't really understand what that phrase is about, I prefer to feel confident as a human being, as a person. Confidence comes from knowing who I am, from accepting my strong side and my more sensitive side, and not being afraid to show both sides.
