I often wish things would move faster; having a comfortable home of my own while I’m still alive is my greatest material desire right now. Living in peace and fulfillment is what I value most... I don’t think a truly fulfilled person would fear death; if I don’t fear death, why would I want to live for 300 fucken years?
No, no, and no—300 years is a long time, yes, of course it is, here and in paradise too, if such a place could even exist... I’m not afraid of death; I’m afraid of suffering. The longer I live, the more opportunities I’ll have to suffer, and also more chances to see my loved ones suffer. I’ve seen it firsthand with my mother, and I don’t like it; I’ve seen it with my brothers and sisters, and I don’t like it... Sometimes I just wonder when it will all end.
Of course, I’ve also seen happiness and a zest for life, but that doesn’t make me long to live a very long time—it doesn’t make sense to me.
I’ve heard some older people say they’d like to turn back time and be young again. I don’t blame them for wanting to regain their vitality, but I don’t share that desire to live for many years.
What will happen when we die? Will everything just end for us?
If so, all of this will have made little sense.
What will happen when we die? Will we continue to exist in some way?
If so, I think it’s good to renew ourselves every so often; living 300 years seems like an eternity on Earth, in the world we know.
On Tuesday, I accompanied a 69-year-old woman to her eye ultrasound; she says she can’t go out alone and was very worried about finding someone to go with her. She owns the house where I rent a room and the bakery where I work on Sundays; she’s been very supportive of me, so I went with her. It struck me that she says she can’t go out alone. I still see her as full of life and very lucid—a bit slow, but nothing that prevents her from continuing to “live.”
Seeing Mrs. Gloria at that age, I think she still has the drive to lead a dignified life in which she can take care of herself. Maybe she could have another 10 years of a “good life” if she put in a little more effort.
What I’m getting at is that 70 or 80 years seems like a good average age to keep living—of course, that depends on many factors. Anything beyond that is kind of too much, in my opinion; it’s likely that the body and the mind just wants a deep rest by then, I think.
Reaching 300 years in this crazy world isn't something I would wish for if it were possible, not even if I were offered the magnificent chance to do so with the face and vitality of a 30-year-old. For me, it would rather be a nightmare to live so many years, and now, all I want is to wake up completely.
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