The matter of secrecy is a tricky one because it deals with a lot of trust. For someone to be able to tell you something they consider a secret, it means they do have some level of trust in you.
I have always thought I was someone who could keep a secret so this topic is an interesting one for me. The topic of discussion is “what I would do if a loved one told me a secret which could affect another loved one”. I have rules and one rule is to try to keep secrets I am told to myself. I may not always be up to task but it is something that I always try to do.
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So, if I was told a secret by a loved one, I would most likely keep it to myself. The only instant I think I wouldn’t be able to keep it to myself is if the secret was going to physically harm the other person. When you are put in situations like these, you appreciate the work priests do by keeping all those confessions to themselves. The oath they take helps them but in times like these, I appreciate them.
Talking about priests make me remember this scenario I saw in a movie. In this movie, a criminal went to the church, made a confession to the priest about a murder he committed. Some months later, the priest’s brother was arrested for that particular crime. Now, the priest was in a real dilemma because in one hand, he had to look out for his brother and on the flip side, he had taken an oath to protect this secret.
The sad thing in the movie was that you could clearly see how much the priest was struggling to keep the secret. He found the criminal and tried convincing him to go confess to the police but the priest refused and more than once, the priest went to the police to tell them what he knew but his beliefs wouldn’t allow him. I can’t remember how he had a recording of their conversation but at the end of the movie, the priest got rid of the recording and left his brother in the hands of the police and God.
Putting myself in the shoes of the priest, I do not think I would have been able to keep such a secret. Once I realized the secret, I was told was going to harm a close friend or a family member, I would spill. If the secret I am told has something to do with a friend’s relationship, I in most cases would not say a word.
What I have come to realize is that when it comes to matters of love or the heart, you do not interfere. There are a lot of instances I have heard of someone complaining about their boyfriend / girlfriend and in the next minute, they are showing you couple goals. I get that couples fight but sometimes the reason for their fights doesn’t sound right to you.
Confiding in someone
However, when it comes to me, I try to stay out of people’s relationships. If I am consulted, I try to give a logical advice. But what I would do is that if I hear you are cheating on my friend, I would speak to you and advice you to not hurt my friend. If you do not change, then maybe I would consider telling my friend but only if I had concrete proof.
So, if I was told a secret, I would consider spilling if it physically harms the person in question. I think in situations like these too, there probably isn’t a right thing to do.
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