The Ghosts are just that. Past. Passed away. Situations of former times that I have already dealt with. Whose consequences I already suffered. Going through these messages is some kind of meditation, with a work aspect. They don't get to me anymore. They're just there, existed once and are burned into the 0 and 1 state. And I burn them once again with a screenshot. And once again with the backup.
There is no emotion left in them. They're pure ratio now. I can use them how I see fit. They've become objects, still bound to interpretation, but on the same level as any form of communication is. Maybe a little more like art. Every person has their own perspective based on their experiences and values.
I'm glad I feel that way. Distant. It proves to me that I have moved on, made my way, worked it through. I also noticed that I see many sentences differently now. That I gained perspectives. I would not respond in the same way now as I did then. I guess I grew.
That doesn't make the messages any better. It's still being reminded of all the abuse over the years, using my love for my daughter against me. Those messages, that tone, the attacks, the poison, it's still the same today as it was 2 years ago. So it might really be me who has evolved. It might just not only be in my head, my ego, but really true. Once I'm finished, once the finder is complete once more and up to date, we'll see what the officials say. Until then, I'll stay hopeful.
It's been a good day. Gym, work, then meeting with friends and the jam session at the end. Ellie is already waiting for me. Maybe a movie, then sleep. Sweet sleep. Have a good night!
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