There is a particular ringtone i still cannot hear without my stomach dropping a little. Nothing dangerous about it now. Just an old phone, an old number, attached to a season of my life that ended years ago. My mind has moved on completely.
My body apparently did not get the memo.I used to think healing meant a clean finish. You deal with something, you talk about it enough, maybe you cry it out once properly, and then it is done. Filed away. No longer able to touch you.Then random little things kept proving me wrong. A smell in a hallway. A particular shade of evening light. A voice with the wrong tone at the wrong moment. My chest would tighten before my brain even caught up to ask why.Nobody really explains that healing is not just a mental decision.
The mind can accept something is over while the body keeps reacting like it just happened yesterday. It is not weakness and it is not failure. It is just how we are built. The nervous system remembers in its own language, separate from the stories we tell ourselves about being fine now.I stopped being so hard on myself about it once i understood that. The tight chest does not mean i lied to myself about healing. It just means part of me is still catching up, still finishing the process at its own pace, regardless of how convincing my mind sounds when it says i am over it.
So now when that ringtone plays somewhere, or that particular light hits a room a certain way, i just notice it. Breathe through it. Do not fight myself for still feeling something i thought should be long gone.Healing happens in layers, not in one single finished moment. Some layers are mental. Some live somewhere deeper, somewhere slower, somewhere that has its own clock entirely.Be patient with the parts of you still finishing the work. They are not broken. They are just behind, and that is allowed.
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