Thank you, @crimsonclad, for providing (to anyone interested in truthfully even beginning to understand) us all a glimpse of what goes on "in here." That I have chosen to say anything is a tribute to the impact you had on me personally, in the early days of my own "journey" through this "virtual world."
Beyond providing what I hope will be a little bit of encouragement to you, I could write a whole post of my own in a fuller response, but ... I will stop, before I start.
Out of my respect and regard (extended to, sadly, only a remarkably small number of others) for a lion-hearted Hivian, I will simply and succinctly close wishing for you all the best, for a better tomorrow!