Owning a business. Will not make you millions in 99% of the cases. It will make you sourdough. Accidently. Because of miscommuniation. And suddenly, it's 1pm, you have 1kg of sourdough bubbling with the most delicious aroma, and it has to be gone by start of the night shift at 7pm, before it can cause more confusion.
What to do?
Bread. Obviously. I mean, you can set up a sourdough fermented rosemary granate cabagge or some shamanic holy dirt with spiritually clean ayahuasca puke or whatever the newest new age wave tells you to. Might solve all my problems. Problem: I like problems. They make my life interesting. I want to solve them myself, and suffer in the process so I experiment life as it is.
Bam.
Chocolate sourdough it is! Because I can. And I had this vision a few weeks ago... of a bread baked at high temperature... somewhat crusty, but not bitter... sweet, but not too sweet, because I'm sweet enough (guess the movie quote and get 5 HSBI)... Soft and moist, full of delicate flavor like...
Wait a second.
This is already 200 words and the recipe isn't here yet! Is this another one of those recipe blogs where it's traced back to my grand-great-overlord-grandmother? Nope.
Yeah, that's how experimenting works. Recipe? For losers. Start with common sense, and see where it ends. It ended (ENDED! Mind the 12h sourdough fermentation...) at:
500g all purpose flour
30g pure ground cocoa
125g brown sugar (better panela!)
20g oil (whatever you like, but coconut? if you can afford it, go for 25g...)
3g salt (yes, it's still the best flavor enhancer, even in sweets)
285g water
Of that:
125g flour
125g water
Pre fermented in the sourdough, using around 10g of sourdough starter. Mix like a lunatic, smash it, beat it, treat it like it was Edward Norton in Fight Club. The dough loves it. Don't hold back. All that anger, all that fear, all that uncertainty and darkness - the dough will happily absorb it. If you're in for a pro-tip: It's about the miligram . Punching to that beat is scientifically perfect for any bread. Says I. My credentials?
12 years of invoking the slowest death of all.
Because a really good sourdough bread delays death. Especially if you make it yourself. All that stress in your life converts into the joy of yeast and bacteria, masochists in that way, excitedly waiting for the transmission of your worldly suffering. If you don't cry while making that loaf, you might want to add another gram of salt. But I do recommend invoking your worst memory and cry it into the dough. It helps. Both you and the dough.
It does look like a pile of what you feel like in that moment. It absorbs it deliberately. Either your hands or the machine spin it, the tail wags the dog, and suddenly you feel better - and it's not even done yet.
I had too much. As always. Everything is coming down on me, like a laser target lead meteorite swarm. I could say that life sucks right now because it really feels that way, but I can't, because in relation to the high majority of the world, my life is awesome, and I believe in relativism. So, my life doesn't suck, it just feels like it sucked. Big difference. It's not too much, it just feels like it's too much.
So now I take my heart in hand
bleach out the shades of detriment
Branded with names that I resent
Wear it upon my sleeve the end
I had 1kg of sourdough (500 flour / 500 water / 50 starter). I had every reason to go one step too far, but also to go just one step further, into the unknown, carefully, searching for something better. There must be. There always is. I keep finding it in myself, so why not in dough?
I had 1kg of sourdough. So I turned into 4 times the recipe above, making 6 loaves out of it. Looked all great, but then my self-destructiveness got a hold of me and I made plans to meet with my good friend to watch the Canada-Qatar game. Meaning, I did not leave the loaves to rest properly. I hurried. Here's what you should do to get an even better outcome:
2h rest after mixing, folding the dough after 1h
2h resting after shaping
That would give the whole adventure enough time to develop nicely. Un-Interrupted by human desires for self-destruction via distraction.
Although our oven is semi-professional, I opted for a little lubrication this time, heating a pan half-filled with water within the oven. I do have the steam function, but since I only had one sheet of bread, I explored this option for a more satisfying outcome. There seems to be a strong positive correlation between surface humidity and pleasure throughout most parts of life.
I admit. I cut the buns, threw them into the oven and went to watch the game. When I came back, they looked like that. Who wouldn't take responsibility for those beauties! Baking specs? Here you go:
610-650g buns
pre-heated to 200°C
insert, double steam
30min at 175°C
That went perfectly with the break in the game. Canada was already leading 1:0 when I arrived. I witnessed 2 more goals, then I ran back to the bakery.
10min heating from 175°C to 200°C
Take them out immediately. The cocoa is already roasted, so if you overdo it, it'll get too bitter. And that's a German fellow talking here.
They turned out delicious. As noticeable, I should've given them more time to raise as a bun. They did not split at the cuts, but underneath. But that's okay - it was a first try, an experiment. Coming home, to take the picture after the game, I got another idea:
Chili. Chocolate and chili. An ancestral combination. In a bread. That would be something to pull off - not too sweet, not too hot, not too bitter. For all them normal folks. Or, for the freaks: Hot, bitter, sweet.