On birthdays: I feel very similar. I try to do my best for the people that I know hold their birthdays as something important. But I think those people should be coherent, and deem everyone's birthday important, not only theirs. So yes, I expect them to think of me in some way, too. If they don't, I know it's not more than an egocentrical issue, and I try not to feed those.

On the dark thoughts: I was confronted with those early on, having chronic diseases in my family and discuss the "When is it too much to bear?" with those when I was around 14 years old, for the first time. Even though I was the only one spared (so far, knocking on wood), I established my own "Limit List" somewhat loose in my mind. I will always try to push further than those limits, endure a little more, surpass my self, but if I can't, I can give up with good conscience.

Thank you for sharing!