What Burdens We Bear | LMAC FreeStyle Collage No. 151

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Hello LMAC and Hive members. I wanted to share my current collage whose theme entails a generous female who indulges others and extends herself on their behalf. She's a sympathetic soul.

My style of collage is a Freestyle. Although I usually do, I wasn't required to utilize any contest photo in my design. However, if you'd like to join in visit: # Let's Make a Collage - A Contest for All Creatives on Hive - Round 246 - ✨50 HIVE in the Prize Pool!.

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You bend over backwards to please. Where does it get you?

A small percentage of the time...satisfaction. The majority of the time, dissatisfaction. The reason for this is individuals who are generous with their time and kindness usually end up on on the short end of the stick.

By that I mean people who burden you with their problems, no matter whether relationship, financial, or other issues that may arise in their lives, welcome intervention if you will be relieving them of responsibilities in their situations. They are free to go about their day knowing that you have stepped in and will handle things for them.

What are you left with then?

The burden of others problems attempting to figure out ways to help. The most burdensome of problems to you I feel are ones that involve relationship issues.

Often people only want a sounding board; someone to hear them out. They rarely want advice, or even take it when you offer. Some get offended if the advice is contrary to what they have in mind. They don't have a solution, yet when you offer one, you become the villain.

I speak from personal knowledge.

Years ago when I first started my career, I met a young lady at the company who as also a new employee. I figured we could bond over the "newness" of our first position at a major company. I realized later that she latched on to me because, as she commented, I was a good listener. No one else understood her or would take the time to listen.

My heart immediately went out to her. Compassion and sympathy filled me to the point I desperately wanted to help her. "Please keep this between us," she would say each time she ran to me with a new problem (which seemed to be more than once a month).

"Did you know that Carmen" was the gist of conversations I frequently overhead. Or, another co-worker would approach me and ask that question. I quickly realized within six months that the person I had come to like had not only confided in me her personal affairs but almost everyone else in the office.

The content of the issues in my opinion was not one I would have personally divulged to anyone, even to me. During my tenure and in life in general, I've met numerous people who feel compelled to spill their life's story to anyone who will listen. I've yet to comprehend the reason for this.

But to the person receiving such confidential information, the substance can weight heavily on one's mind. It's human nature to be concerned for the welfare and well-being of another person.

However, when other people's problems begin to have a profound affect on you, that is the time to take a step back and reassess your reason for allowing this to happen.

It is said that generally in life no one forces another person to do anything they don't want to do. Individuals allow and sometimes invite external issues into their lives. In essence, they permit others to place burdens upon them.

The result of these external stressors can manifest itself in numerous ways, both mentally and physically.

Empathy is awesome and an excellent attitude for one's personality. I have felt empathy over the years for individuals who have experienced the same hardships and difficulties as I. A willingness to listen and take on others' problems can become excessive. That's when you can experience burnout and become overwhelmed by "empathy fatigue" 1.

In some situations, it can be costly. For example, when you spend the majority of time concentrating on other people and their problems, it leaves little room to tend to your own well-being and issues. You're essentially putting priority over yourself for others. This can lead to exhaustion, resentment toward others, and physical ailments. 2

Knowing when and how much involvement you're willing to devote to another person for the sake of their problems is an individual choice.

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For my current collage, I attempted to portray a female bending over backward" as people say to please others. I located an appropriate free-sourced image that fit perfectly. In her mouth I place a branch with flowers to show her benevolence as she extends herself to others to help.

On top of the branches I placed the contest photo to signify a helping hand whose weight has become a burden to handle. Of course, holding even a light object in your mouth gets tiresome.

I surrounded her with different elements to portray the different individuals in needs of specific attention to their individual problems.

Below are my steps in which I hope that I was able to portray my theme in clarity. I utilized Canva to blend the different type images. I leave with you my procedures which began with a blank, white canvas. I then added layers of elements in accordance with my upgraded Annual Pro Membership. Tools I use include the ability to remove backgrounds, resize, filter, duplicate, detach elements from their backgrounds, and reposition items as required.

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The images I included in my collage design are listed below:

ItemContributorSource
LMAC Contest #246-Pumpkin in HandContributed to #LIL by @sachingeorgeLink
Female bending overPexelsLink
DeerPixabayLink
White FlowersPixabayLink
Protea Flower HeadPexelsLink
LeopardPixabayLink
Silver flowerContributed to #LIL by @agmooreLink
Wild Pink Onion FlowerContributed to #LIL by @borjanLink
Blue butterflyPixabayLink
Little EgretContributed to #LIL by @digitalisLink

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I share with you my completed design:

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Thanks for taking the time to view my post. I hope you like my freestyle collage theme.

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Good luck everyone with whatever your endeavors.

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SUPPORTS THESE COMMUNITIES:

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SOURCES:
a) JustClickindiva's Footer created in Canva utilizing its free background and images used with permission from discord admins.
b) Unless otherwise noted, all photos taken by me with my (i) Samsung Galaxy 10" Tablet, (ii) Samsung Phone, & (iii) FUJI FinePix S3380 - 14 Mega Pixels Digital Camera
c) Purple Butterfly part of purchased set of Spiritual Clip Art for my Personal Use
d) All Community logos, banners, page dividers used with permission of Discord Channel admins.
e) Ladies of Hive banner used with permission of and in accordance with the admin's guidelines
f) Thumbnail Image created by me in Canva.
g) "Flames." What is Apophysis 2.09. https://flam3.com/

1 "What Is Empathy Fatigue?" Calm.com. Online at: https://www.calm.com/blog/empathy-fatigue

2 "How Does Listening To Others Affect Us?" July 12, 2018. Willingness.com Online at: https://willingness.com.mt/how-does-listening-to-other-peoples-problems-affect-us-2/

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English is my native language.
If translation included, I use DeepL to assist my readers.
Thanks for your patience an understanding
.

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The image of the woman bent backward is the protagonist and reflects the multiple burdens we accept. Your reflection is clear and timely. Regards, @justclickindiva

Tu post ha sido votado por @celf.magazine, proyecto curatorial y revista digital sobre arte y cultura en Hive. Únete a nuestra comunidad y comparte tu talento con nosotros.
Your post has been voted by @celf.magazine, curatorial project and digital magazine about art and culture in Hive. Join our community and share your talent with us.



I'm pleased my theme was clear from the design. I was hoping it would be. Yes, we all bear burdens of some kind at some point in our lives. It's how we handle them that determines the outcome. Overextending ourselves with good intentions can sometimes place a hardship on our mental and physical health.

Thanks so much for your visit and kind words for my design. I appreciate it. Take care. Thanks for your support.

🙏

Sending you some Ecency curation votes!

Thanks so much for the community support @melinda010100. I'm pleased you found my project interesting. I appreciate it. Take care.

This is so moving ... I've been in that picture ... it's tough... sometimes necessary ... but tough...

Yes it is tough in certain circumstances. Learning when to decline an invitation to take on others' issues is, as your advice to me once, "at any point you want to, shake it off, then move on." Hard to do, but sometimes so necessary for our well-being.

Thanks so much for stopping by. I appreciate your advice and input. Take care and have a nice rest of your weekend.

It is exceptionally hard to do ... I remind myself that the Lord wept over His own beloved city ... did what He had to do on Calvary, and LEFT ... told folks living there: "Don't weep for me; weep for yourselves and your children." He knew what was coming ... and STILL LEFT ... so He could get home and send the Holy Spirit and thus be with all those who believe in Him. So, if it was necessary for HIM to stay on mission and stop doing all the things that could have forever have been done for those in physical need, it is most definitely necessary for us.

In all things, there is a cut-off date, point, time that is necessary. Thanks for your thoughts on this. Take care.

@topcomment

It is a fact that we are capable of carrying that weight or not, but there are many things in life that come our way that we have to bear all that weight.

Yes we are capable sometimes of carrying the burdens, but we mustn't allow them to overwhelm us. When we see this happening, we must back away and take care of our own well-being.

Thanks so much for your visit. I appreciate it and your input. Take care.

You bend over backwards to please

Years ago I was hired to teach in a school that was designed exclusively for psychiatric patients. The principal of that school spotted in me immediately the one quality he was looking for: I like to help.

Why? Why do I? Over the years I've had to examine my motivation. Do I want to please? Am I looking for that reward, no matter how discrete, that comes when people are pleased, and maybe even grateful? That can be a drug, and it can be profoundly unsatisfying.

I've worked hard to keep my 'helping' in line. Help because it pleases me. Better if the person on the other end doesn't even know about. Help because it is the only thing to do, because not helping is unacceptable.

It's a fine line to walk. Helping is the most wonderful thing. It's best when the recipient knows nothing, and you have the quiet awareness that somehow you've made a tiny dent in the the really horrible things that go on in the world. I think many of us feel powerless in the face of all the suffering. So, we do our little bit to 'help'.

Sometimes you have to bend over backwards...that is, go the extra mile. When that happens it has to be because you see a need and want to feel it. That's it. A kind of ethic, a way of being.

Great collage. Great issue. Very, very relevant to many people. Look at how wordy I became in response :))

You know @agmoore, the key is as you say:

"I've worked hard to keep my 'helping' in line."

Not doing so will overextend yourself. Our society was built on the premise of "helping each other". Also, the Bible commands us to do so. The reward is sometimes seen and unseen. Appreciated and unappreciated. Satisfying and unsatisfying.

Whatever the reason people extend themselves to assist others, whether financial or just lending an ear to vent, there comes a time when self-preservation must kick in and protect our own interest for the sake of our well-being. Examining why we allow our willingness to help get out of control is personal for each individual.

For me, growing up in an environment society deemed "poor", neighbor helping neighbor was essential for survival. We didn't think twice; we just forged ahead. The environment taught me and my siblings that no matter who you are or where you fall on society's rung of the ladder, there will always be a need to help others. The key is allowing others to take advantage of your kindness. That's when burn-out occurs when we continue to help. Doing so without the other person's knowledge is the best kind.

I appreciate your visit and awesome insight as I always have a take away from your experiences. Take care and have a good rest of your weekend.

@topcomment

!PIZZA