@fonestreet I envy you in that regards that you have bested your addiction.

Despite treatment, I feel I will also be an addict. I can ensure I don’t use (alcohol) or set firm rules how much and when to do it, but I can never relax and feel no chip that is telling me a) not to give in to it and b) to drink whatever you can as soon as possible.

Even years after a rehab program - I feel it is very difficult to say I don’t drink at all (because I can’t deal with it - and thus accept you are an alcoholic forever) or keep trying and beat it in order to live a normal live and set an example for my kids how to deal with these temptations in a responsable way (and basicly failing most of the times). Being hard on yourself - do you really want to be able to control it , or is it just the addiction trying to open the door a little bit ;)

Right now I feel addiction is something that will last forever, we might be able to control it, but it will always be a weak spot and acceptance of that is a huge step forward!

I feel you can be very proud of yourself that you chose to take a different turn in live as that definitly is not easy. Keep it up my friend!