Sometimes we get trapped by our emotions as a result of fear, not pushing beyond bars. Which in most cases would not be intentional, but the reaction of the stronger emotion. According to Wikipedia, “Fear is a primal, protective emotion triggered by perceived danger or threats.” But there's a commonly used acronym of the word “FEAR” that I feel that sits well with me which is; False Evidence Appearing Real. Honestly, I have no idea how this definition came about, but I think it clearly describes the true meaning of the word in a real sense.
Some of us have not gone past the level we are today because of pessimism which breeds fear. We are scared to start and are buried with the thoughts of “what ifs”. “What if I fail?”,” what if they laugh at me?”, “ what if it didn't go well?” A lot of “what ifs” that hinder growth. Truth is, when we place our fears above our potential stagnation becomes inevitable. So I think our fears actually limits our daily lives.
Back in the days before I got into the University, I'd always been caught in the web of fear of exploring my full potential. I was so shy that I could hardly look one in the face while talking. I usually shy away from school general debate, not that I can not speak well but for fear of facing the audience and to make mistakes. I had the desire to but fear wouldn't allow me. Until my third year in the uni where I was appointed by my course mates to represent our group for presentation. A 3 units course, which means I was in for a serious business and didn't have to joke with it.
I stood in front of a mirror for days rehearsing and presenting to myself before presenting to my group, to test waters, lol. At first it was like a thug of war but gradually as I presented multiple times in that manner I gained confidence over time. It's no longer a thing to give a thought to for me now even when I did my National Youth Service program, I did more of it. I never knew I could present that good had I allowed fear to keep me down. It has become a part of me now, no longer a thing to fear for. It was a beautiful memory whenever I recalled the experience. That was how I killed the fear holding me from exploring my public speaking skill and maintaining eye contact while talking to people.
However, there are some other things I like to do but fear wouldn't let me. For instance, I like dancing but don't know how to make good dance moves.Though I do dance only in my house, not in public to avoid embarrassment. I also love watching people who make good moves while I only sit and wish I could. Another thing I like doing is swimming. I love watching people swim but I cannot swim. In fact, I had never entered any water to give it a try for once. The thought of how people get drowned while swimming has overwhelmed me, such that I don't even want to think of giving it a try.
To get rid of the fear of dancing in public gatherings I think I should start by getting a pair. Someone who dances well. I could also get a tutor to train me on that. That way I can improve, I guess. But you see that of swimming, it's a tall order. Ain't going to give it a thought, not now, not ever. I'll just have to live with that.
This is my response to @queercoin community weekly contest #188
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