We are living in an era where there is still a long way to go in terms of emotional intelligence, there will never be another message in every post we write about self-love that promotes maturity, clarity and communication.
But I don't accept the worn-out discourse of self-love, I think it's "enough" that many people keep making posts about it exalting the ego.
I can understand that love is a dance to our individuality of each one with his dreams, desires, needs and a We that is nourished with attention, pampering, tenderness and consideration.
Although love is not learned or taught in manuals, it is because each one is committed body and soul.
I like the idea that, as children, we learn to be happy, in the same way, we teach our children. But to show them "NO, with that postcard happiness", the one that is exhibited in photos, but that other one, the one that is built and celebrated. The one that allows you to understand that life is a constant "in spite of" we keep going, and that, right there, in that apparent contradiction, is where the true happiness resides.
We keep silent many times so as not to make others uncomfortable, we keep silent so as not to overflow, and we smile while the soul screams...but how much does the omission cost? How much does the "I kept it" weigh? I didn't say that
I have been living as a couple for almost 48 years and I can tell you that we are not identical twin people who feel, think and act the same. Why, do I have this certainty, in what I write?.
Because I have spent that amount of years negotiating, giving in on some things, and on others empathizing with my husband, if neither of us had done the opposite, this relationship would have already died, lost and ended.
Without a doubt, sometimes love and life involves realizing our mistakes, our own limits, what I can and can't do, asking for forgiveness when it comes from the heart and starting over, leaving resentment behind and healing wounds.
Because not everything is accusing the other of "I am the good one" and you are the bad one or the bad one.well, NOOoo, loving is learned with experience and is rectified with our reflections of our soul that is not only emotion and heart. It is reason, it is action, reflection and connection with feeling.
Part of loving is often to live lost, duels, breakups that make you feel hurt in the face of disappointment, from there you also learn, and a lot.
Which is more difficult? To stay as you are or dare to travel a new path? It seems like a lie, but the drama always seems to revolve around those who do not know how to say "enough is enough in a love relationship that does not work".
It's a huge mistake to stop trying because you don't know what might happen. But, many times, what you are living now is more difficult than what it implies to change. Without a doubt, this pattern affects our emotional well-being, and fucks us, life …
So if you needed to read this, here it is: this sunrise while jogging on the sidewalk of Lake Maracaibo, it's time to move, to get out of where you are, to take action.
Janitze.🌷
Separator made with Canva by @janitzearratia
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited by me with Canva
Translation with |DeepL