I doubt you read the whole post but thanks.
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Previously I only read half of it, because the other half couldn't be translated due to network problems, now I have read it all. I think I once became a Samuel because of my unrequited love for a woman who was now about to marry someone else, but strangely, even though I was hurt, I could never hate her, and now we rarely communicate because I afraid of disturbing her future husband's feelings