The Thirst Traffickers #04 / SECRET N ° 383

in #hive-1201324 days ago

📜 CHAPTER 4 — SACRED MEMORANDUM: THE BLESSING OF SECRET

Preserved in the Apostolic Archives of the World Hydration Congregation.

Let the Throat Be Subdued. Let Thirst Be Commodified. Let SECRET® Be Praised.

Approved by: Supreme Saint Hydropontiff, CEO – Chief Evangelist Officer, SECRET® Church & Conglomerate

Memorandum No. 001 — Hydro-Sanctified Decree

By the authority of the Supreme Council of Commercial Water and under the benevolent oversight of the Department of Soul & Faucet Control,

It is decreed on this day that SECRET® beverage shall receive full ecclesiastical recognition as the Consecrated Liquid of Humanity.

Article I — Of the Sacred Henceforth, the consumption of SECRET® shall be deemed an act of faith and purification. Drinking SECRET® absolves the consumer of hydric sins and enrolls them in the Great Ledger of Indebted Consumers. Every drop sanctifies the throat; every sip redeems doubt.

Article II — Of Services All places of worship must install SECRET® dispensers beside every holy water font. Baptisms, confessions, and absolutions must be accompanied by a toast of SECRET® Classic—or, for the more devout, SECRET® Revolt® Limited Edition. Any faithful caught drinking unconsecrated water shall be excommunicated and retroactively billed.

Article III — Of the Clergy Priests of the Hydraulic Church (henceforth called Hydropontiffs) shall oversee the blessing of SECRET® shipments. Every Sunday sermon must include at least one sponsored scripture:

“And God said: Let There Be Thirst, and SECRET Fulfilled It.” (Book of Hydration 1:1)

Hydropontiffs shall receive a 15% rebate on monthly orders, provided they meet minimum conversion quotas by Thirst.

Article IV — Of Heretics Any individual who refuses the Blessing of SECRET® shall be guilty of Liquid Blasphemy. Punishments include:

Perpetual Thirst

Confiscation of all unauthorized water sources

Re-education via forced immersion in SECRET® pools (Original Flavor or Remorse Infused)

Article V — Of the Infinite Let it be known: All water is now the property of SECRET®—by divine decree, by state contract, and by popular submission. Every cloud, every raindrop, every tear is considered an advance on your subscription. No more crying without payment. No more sweating without royalties. No more breathing without thirst.

----

Winners SECRET and ECU is

But before the distribution Why keep your ECU ?

The owner of this token has a project under development that you can follow; nothing is finalized yet.

http://mineverse.bastion.city/

https://ecency.com/@mineverse/posts

https://ecency.com/hive-143869/@itharagaian/mineverse-formula-s-fr-en

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What’s Forest Gump’s password?
1Forest1.

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What did the mayonnaise say to the icebox?
Close the door, I am dressing.

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What an interesting and creative approach.
This text mixes religious and commercial elements in a unique, almost satirical way.
The idea of turning a drink into something sacred and essential for humanity, with such a structured and rule-filled system, really invites us to reflect on how we consume and value resources.

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Who changes the season when Summer is over?
No one, it happens Autumnatically.

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Thank you for this Orwellian exploration, and for the SECRET (and the info about ECU)! 😁 🙏 💚 ✨ 🤙

!ALIVE
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I'm on a seafood diet.
When I see food I eat it.

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Thanks a lot! 😁 🙏 💚 ✨ 🤙

!ALIVE
!INDEED
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Thank you!

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Three men walk into a bar.
You would think at least one of them would have seen it.

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More secrets!

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What is a ghosts favorite candy?
Boo boo clusters.

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Nice one!

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What kind of whale plays music?
An Orcastra

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!PIZZA

!BBH

Thanks alot!

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To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office
I will find you. You have my word.

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Thank you!
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R.I.P. boiled water.
You will be mist.

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I always try to use the word mucho around my Spanish-speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.

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Thanks ^^
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Can February march?
No, but April may.

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Thank you/Merci!
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!BBH
!HUG

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!BBH

This is a great chapter

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!BBH

thank very much friend

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!BBH

thanks a lot as always

!BBH

!lolz
!pizza

!PIZZA

Sparkling SECRET. !BBH

!BBH

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I sent my girlfriend a 'Get Better' card.
She's not sick, or anything - I just think she can get better..

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Thank you for the SECRET

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I used to be addicted to soap
but now I'm clean.

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belle fin de journée
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Merci pour les tokens!
Bonne journee, !ALIVE
!WINE
!INDEED

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Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.

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bonne journée sous la pluie ;)
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Merci
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Chuck Norris once went on a bicycle ride
and accidentially won the Tour de France.

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merci
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Have you heard about the Angel of Death that’s not so intelligent?
The Dim Reaper?

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Where does an 800 pound gorilla sleep?
Wherever he wants.

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Thank you!

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Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands

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The Book of hydration 1:1 located in secret wonders shall never end ooo 😆🤣🥰

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Why did the banker quit his job?
He lost interest.

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Now we have the holy book of secret titled blessings of secret.
Nice one.

Thanks for the tokens tipped.

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I asked my dog what's two minus two.
He said nothing.

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Merci, bonne semaine
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Why did the melon have to get married in a church?
Because it cantelope.

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We forgot to tag @tokutaro22 who received his tokens.

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