Count thy Blessings.

in Reflections10 days ago

This turned out to be a somewhat positive post. That wasn't obvious from the start. I thought it would rather become dark again.

Friday is my birthday. 37 it is. Can't say I care too much about that in and of itself. There was one thing that made me care about them, though - Lily. This is going to be my first birthday in a long time without her. Father's Day and my birthday are always very close (this year they're only 2 days apart), a good excuse to have Lily spend the month of June with me. That included also the Inti Raymi, the Sun Festival, celebrated by the indigenous here. Since many of my friends, including Lily's former nanny, are Kichwa, Lily is always invited to join them (more than I...). They dress her up in traditional clothing, and she gets stuffed with sweets and other stuff that I grumpily smile upon and say "Exception."

Not this year. I still have no clue where they are. The legal process is taking its time, as predicted. All parts of it. But being at the courthouse also allows me to see the rest of it. My case, though loathsome to me, is not as bad.

I have many blessings.

And it's good to be reminded of them. My family, by blood and by choice. My community. My education. My upbringing. My relative wealth. My health. My looks. My mindset. And I could probably go on, going further into detail about all the little things I'm grateful for (like the awesome coffee mill that my brother gifted me).

A blessing never comes alone.

At least for me. In every blessing lies responsibility. On how to use it. In an inter-connected world, we're not the result of "only" hard work and self-development. Everything relies on our relations to others, both humans and the environment. "I" alone does not exist, it only exists in the relation "I-You" or "I-It".

Anyone knows from which half-forgotten German philosopher that statement is paraphrased?

Hence, nothing I have is entirely mine. Yes, I did my part to obtain a few of them. Others are more like privileges (a trigger word for some 😉), pure luck. Or bad luck, for others. There is the possibility of re-incarnation as what you deserve to be, but I could never wrap my mind around that. I rather believe in the combination of self-obtained and gifted blessings.

What to make of them?

That, too, is part of the responsibility. To turn the blessings into more than just the ego-centered acceptance of them, but to use them to do good by others. To give back. Which will probably lead to more blessings somehow, at least in my experience. Everything I shared genuinely and altruistically came back 10 fold. An epiphany that somewhat compromises the altruistic component. Oh, well. It's still genuine.

It all fades, anyway.

Just today I commented on a post quoting Marcus Aurelius. MA has many blessings, so to speak, being an emperor. But he never gets complacent about that. He always reminds himself of what is more important than anything material - working on one's self.

Which is a blessing, too.

Being able to do so. Being able to wanting to do so. Being able to even realize there's work to be done. I know way too many people who don't have that ability. I believe that working intrinsically is the path to true happiness. Which aligns me a lot with the Stoics. And I'm glad that a friend of mine talks about them often enough that I bough Meditations when I saw them on sale in Germany.

I'm blessed.

Despite my aching heart. Despite the injustice. It's good to remember that from time to time.


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You are in my prayers that you find and are reunited with Lilly soon.

We often overlook what we are already blessed with as we sometimes strive for more. It was not until my health declined and forced into retirement that I started to find contentment in what I had. Forced me to slow down and look around. To appreciate more. Sounds like you are on the right track.

I ordered and received a copy of Marcus Aurellius's Meditations the other day. It makes for a nice start too the day reading one or two of them.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

It's the bad times that make the good times. I found the world more beautiful each time I re-discovered it after darkness. I'm glad you had a similar experience and are able to appreciate. As mentioned, not everyone has that ability.

We read one chapter (which are very short) each day with a friend of mine, over 2 months or so. It was a great practice, as we discussed it later. My friend has deep knowledge of stoicism, which made it even more fun. We just started reading Buber together, though that's more complicated. Looking forward to it, anyway.

 9 days ago Reveal Comment

I'm so sorry you still haven't found out where LIly and her Mum are.

Yes, you have many blessings, and the wisest thing to do is share them, for sure - you're doing alright. Couldn't help but laugh at 'looks' in your list of blessings though. My husband thinks I'm the most beautiful women in the world, but he has poor eyesight. I'm just blessed he thinks so.

I am sure Jamie's eyesight is just fine. But you are right, we should all share our blessings the best we can.

I always joke the other way around with Ellie, that I'm lucky that her eyesight isn't the best and she generally wears neither glasses nor contacts. But that's in comparison to her. She's just stunningly beautiful.

I'm neither a fan of arrogance nor of false modesty. I try to be self-aware, and part of that is that I'm generally good looking by the current standards of society. There are some days that isn't true, of course 😅 And the effects that has are important as well. How people react to you, how they estimate you superficially. I don't think it's a good thing that society is like that, but it's really hard to ignore it. Mostly an instinct I guess.

I think it takes a very mature and strong mind to practice gratitude in the middle of a storm like the one you are facing. Regarding the German philosopher whose name you don't remember, it is Martin Buber with his famous relational philosophy of Ich und Du (I and Thou). And about that, you are completely right: we don't exist in a vacuum, and even more, our blessings carry the responsibility of how we impact others. Additionally, I also loved the way you managed to connect this with the great Marcus Aurelius. Cultivating the mind and personal growth is the only thing that no one can take away from us, even when we are affected on an emotional level. This is my opinion on the matter.

Oh, I do remember Buber - unfortunately, he's half forgotten. His views are quite interesting, though there are different interpretations of it. But he isn't easy to read, at least for me. It takes more practice in philosophical reading I guess.

I also try to give away a lot of money and gifts when I have an important stock market deal. But I also gave away my toys to kids in the yard when I was 5 or 6 years old and didn't have a stock market app on my computer yet :)

From this I conclude that altruism is an innate feeling or a development from past incarnations (for those who believe in the immortality of the soul).

I don't really measure it that much. It just happens. Helping those in need right when they are in need, if it's within my abilities and within my comfort zone. There are people that I don't like to help. And that's important, too, there's no obligation. It has to be genuine for me. I have to want to help and feel like it's a good thing to do.