Vulnerable reflections - Mental Health & Running

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Hi all, thanks for tuning in!
Mental health is a topic that I bring up from time to time as it is having quite an impact on my life. From October 2025 I am working in a year long program that contains a mix of individual , group and where needed additional customized modules (such as trauma therapy in my case), with the goal not only to work to get past trauma but also to work on it’s years long effects on every aspect of my life. While it is very intense, ranging for 6 to 10 hours of appointments a week, it is also rewarding.

The main reason to readress it here today is as I was confronted with my own behavior last week - specifically with regards to focussing on high performance as a way to fight the unpleasant feelings treatment is sometimes giving you. While I was aware of my tendency to flight from that feeling (escape / surpress), high performance didn’t feel like self sabotage for this process yet (sometimes knowing and feeling are not in line). But last week, that changed due to a difficult session. Long story short, I was asked to challenge myself by letting go of some of the control in my training schedules, not training more or less - but just not focus on evaluating the data all the time and just try to train more low tech and listening (and trusting) to how I feel. Challenge accepted!

Practically this means only wearing my garmin watch during my two main training sessions, rather than day & night. But also a little less active here (will stil post 2 times a week!) curious where it will result to!

Training today!

Starting this morning there was still night frost on the cars which made it an interesting temperature as the Sun was very much present and warm, while the starting temperature was around 2C

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I decided to go for a harder session of hill repeats - on a small path of 13% incline (34m climb) on 260 m lenght. Just up and down for 2 hours and keep smiling! Effectively this is already 70% of the elevation gains I will face during the Jungfrau marathon and I honestly felt I would got this even if the run was tomorrow.

It took me a bit longer than usual to find my flow (now 45 min before it became effortless) which might had to do with a starting cold. Regardless it felt great being outside and just enjoy the environment!

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Happy running!

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Running naked! No watch !LOL mine broke and I took months to replace it, I still recorded on my phone in my waist belt but every now and again I would forget and look at my wrist it was a weird feeling.

When you talk about intense training sessions, are you referring to medication?

I’m the opposite. I struggle with discipline, and I’m even less likely to obsess over something to that extent. I’m not very competitive; it stresses me out a bit. My ambition is low, which makes my life very peaceful.

After the last marathon, I’ll only run for my health and for fun, not to improve my times.

I wish I could find a good balance to get some peace in my life aswell!

Luckely I don't do any medications (also 0 drugs & 0 alcohol for me). The sessions are mostly EMDR (trauma therapy) and Psychotherapy. The idea is that during the days you are not in a session you are reflecting on what you learned , even if that feels uncomfortable. For I am not really embraching/ enduring that uncomfortable feeling and really reflecting - but still look for things I can control (like running performance or getting in summer shape), They basicly want me to try and let go the urge to fight the uncomfortable feelings by fleeing into sport performance so I can make time to really process sessions and give the past a place.

My goal would also be to be able to do some sports to just enjoy and for health benefits. Will get there step by step! 🙏🙌

Years ago, I tried to escape the sadness of a breakup by throwing myself into my work, and I became completely obsessed with it. I ended up working 90 hours a week. I only lasted three months. After that, I had to face my sadness, on top of the chaos at work.

Will get there step by step! 🙏🙌

Yeah 🙏💪

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