I woke up a little angry today. A mix of disappointment and fulfilled foreboding. I don't snap when I'm angry, not anymore, most of the time I just retract and try to get live the feeling, and then get my thoughts and feelings in order, view from other perspectives, the whole playbook of being the one who has to find their solutions.
But it makes me feel alone. People saying they know what they want, without really knowing. Pretending to make a step forward, and when you make a step towards them, too, they suddenly make two steps back and there you are. Step already made. Do you take the next step? Yet again towards them? I mean, you're already there, right? What's one more step?
That's how you lose yourself.
Being too forthcoming, trying to change myself towards the needs of my ex-wife, has ruined that relationship. Partially, there were many other factors involved. That's when I learned to be aware of that, in any relationship, be it family, love, friends, business. Be vigilant of those who say they're compromising, but aren't really.
A bump on the road. Nothing too serious. Just annoying. Not was I was hoping for, but what I feared, so correct, it's not coming out of the blue. Giving the benefit of a doubt doesn't always work out, shocker. I could say now that it gives me another problem to solve, something to distract me from the incompetence of the Ecuadorian legal system in upholding children's rights, but I'm not sure if I can take it like that today. It feels like just another blow to the stomach.
Good thing - I'm invited on a party today, by friends of mine. They're 10 years in Ecuador now, plus it was both their birthdays in July. Danny is doing the catering, so that will be awesome. And my friend, a great guitarist who does the most amazing solos, said there will be enough beverages for an armada of sailors. And if that wasn't enough, his friend circle is pretty funny, being able to mock and get mocked and just laugh all day long. So, that I'm looking forward to.
Post written for the #saturdayselections by Galenkp inviting us to share music in the Weekend Experiences community on Saturdays.
Please feel free to engage in any original way, including dropping links to your posts on similar topics. I'm happy to read (and curate) any quality content that is not created by LLM/AI.